My wife and I watched the movie Fireproof this weekend, and after watching, I was thinking about the theme of the movie and something suddenly struck me. Before I get into that however, let me share with you my thoughts on the movie itself. In case you’re not aware - this show has been out for a while now, so it’s possible that you may have seen it already - this is the story about a firefighter in a troubled relationship with his wife. Through a forty-day challenge called The Love Dare (life imitates art and this is now a real book), he restores his love for his wife, and also commits himself to God. It was all very touching and well written - I even enjoyed some of the firehouse scenes since I happen to know several firefighters.
Like I said, the movie got me thinking about divorce - not of course actually pursuing one, but considering its effects on a couple’s finances. Let me be very clear: divorce is the worst financial decision that any couple can make. Think about this in very simple terms: income stays the same, but it will now have to support two households rather than one - your standard of living is guaranteed to drop. Enough said.
Of course, this doesn’t even start to consider the emotional and physical effects on you, your children, and your career. Now I am by no means condoning that people should try to work through relationships that may not be salvageable - and this may be for very serious reasons such as abusive relationships, adultery, or one spouse losing their way with God and completely walking out on the other.
I have been married for 15 years now, and would be lying to you if I said it has all been easy. Last year - I am obviously a little slow - I finally came to the realization that I have to be ‘all in’ if this was going to last for the rest of my life. While that seems like such a small conclusion, it has taught me some very serious things about life - like how I need to be connected to my family rather than just my career, and how I need to make an effort to work through things even when I don’t want to. Watching the movie this weekend reinforced what I had to learn all by myself through the years.
In conclusion, I sincerely ask you: if you are having problems with your marriage, please watch this movie, and encourage your spouse to do so too - preferably watch it together. Pray for your marriage and be serious and honest with God about it. Ask your friends to intercede for you so you will be able to be ‘all in’ and live up to the committment you made when you said your vows before God. And don’t give up believing. It is not God’s will for us to be separate from our spouses. “...and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate” (Mark 10 : 8-9 NIV).